Soon after his enlightenment, the Buddha passed a man on the road who was struck by the extraordinary radiance and peacefulness of the Buddha’s presence. The man stopped and asked,
“My friend, what are you? Are you a god?”
“No,” said the Buddha.
“Well, then, are you some kind of magician or wizard?”
Again, the Buddha answered, “No.”
“Are you a man?”
“No.”
Well, friend, then what are you?
The Buddha replied, “I am awake.”
In the Buddha’s time Hinduism taught there are three primary states of awareness. The first is sleeping; the second is the everyday human mind; the third is being spiritually awake. The everyday mind which we in the West call “awake”, the Hindus see as another form of sleep.
When the Buddha said “I am awake” he meant that he was living in a state of awareness beyond that of the everyday mind. The bystander seeing the Buddha could see this in his countenance.
The Hindu teachers (Brahmins) taught that one needed to reincarnate thousands of lifetimes to become a Brahmin, which is the highest caste, and the only one from which liberation is possible. But the Buddha challenged this belief and said that regardless of your caste, you can wake up in this lifetime.
The fastest route to the top of a mountain is also the steepest route. The path taken by Siddhartha Gautama took to become the Buddha was a very steep one. The Buddha’s teaching emphasized strong intention and a commitment to awakening. At the time of his death his final words to his disciples were “Be lamps unto yourselves. Strive on with diligence.”
I do not wish to discourage anyone but rather for those of you who have engaged the path of the Dharma to acknowledge that it is not an easy path and to appreciate the work that you are doing. It is not a part-time job-- it’s a full-time career!
I refer to the dharma as the steep path because it attacks just about everything that we call reality. It challenges assumptions so deep that we don’t see them until they are challenged.
let’s look at four reasons why waking up is hard to do.
1) There exists a very deep predisposition in humans (and animals) to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. If we do something that results in pleasure, we are inclined to do it again. If we do something that results in pain, we are inclined not to do it again. This is an immensely powerful and deep conditioning for all humans. This propensity allows us to be conditioned through reward and punishment.
In Dharma practice we meet each moment with equanimity. This means making peace with every experience and to accept each experience equally with no craving or aversion. This practice erodes the tendency to cling to pleasure and to resist pain.
2) From the moment of birth, we are conditioned to look outward for satisfaction and safety. This tendency runs very deep in the human psyche. An infant will instinctively turn outward toward its mother for safety and satisfaction. Certain teachers call this the “outward gaze fixation.”
In the Dharma practice we focus attention primarily on our internal world rather than outwardly toward the external world.[1] This is why meditators typically go to a quiet place and close their eyes to do sitting their practice. Meditation retreats are kept extremely simple and devoid of external stimulation for this reason. For some, refraining from the external gaze can trigger feelings of vulnerability and anxiety. These feelings will pass if practice is continued.
3) In addition to the habituated outward gaze, we also have a habituated forward gaze. It works as follows: not completely satisfied in the present moment, we turn to the next moment for satisfaction. When that moment does not satisfy us, we turn to the next, and the next etc. This creates a momentum in the mind toward constantly leaning forward into the future in hope of the fulfillment not found in the present moment.
A fundamental practice in Dharma is simply staying present to each moment’s experience. Rather than skipping off to the next moment we practice landing fully in this moment. We practice being fully here and refrain from leaning into the future.
This can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair because we are constantly hoping that the next moment will satisfy us. This experience is impermanent and will pass as we stay present to each moment.
4) As the human infant matures into a child, she begins to develop a strategy to get what she needs, to feel safe, and to protect herself from pain. The child eventually identifies with this strategy, and it becomes the core of her sense of self. Our ego, the sense of self, is seeded by the strategy chosen to meet our needs when we were young.[2]
Our Dharma practice undermines all habituated strategies for getting ego gratification. Letting this go may trigger feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. These feelings will fade away as we cease to identify with ego.
There’s nothing wrong with consciously developing a strategy to get something desired. But this is conscious, chosen, and limited to a specific time. This is not the same as the unconscious, archaic strategy that compulsively drives our thoughts and actions.
Given all these incredible difficulties one might honestly ask “Why even try to awaken? Why bother to do the practice?”
Imagine yourself climbing the steep path of the side of the mountain with heroic effort. Perhaps you’ve been climbing for years. Now shift your experience to that of being gently pulled up the side of the mountain by an unknown force at the summit.
As you are pulled close to the summit you see a golden Buddha resting at the very peak of the mountain. Getting closer to the summit you begin to see that golden Buddha in greater detail. When you get close enough you can look at the golden Buddha’s face-- and you see your own.
You are the Buddha calling your personal self to the summit. You have engaged in the difficult journey, you have struggled step-by-step, hand over hand, you have strived with diligence. You have practiced patience and right effort. You have struggled until it’s no longer necessary to struggle. When you see the face of the Buddha you see yourself. When you realize that you are the Buddha at the summit, your work then is to guide other climbers toward the summit until they too can see their own face.
[1]Of course, we focus externally as needed to function in the world.
[2] For those familiar with the enneagram-- I am describing the origin of the Type