No mud, no lotus.[i] These words are generally understood to mean that just as mud is necessary for a lotus flower to grow, suffering is necessary for spiritual awakening,
In less eloquent terms: “There’s no Wow without the Ow!”
The relationship between suffering and spirituality has long been known—and often misunderstood. Some believe suffering itself to be of value. This was true in both in Christianity and in Hinduism.
Throughout Christian history it was not uncommon for some Christians to practice “mortification of the flesh”, which was the practice of punishing the body by suffering as Christ did and thus show their love for God. This is still practiced today, but generally to a lesser degree.
When the Buddha left his home and began his quest for enlightenment, he engaged many of the yogic practices that were common at that time. One of these practices was extreme asceticism. He would sit for hours under the blazing Indian sun without moving. He survived on only a few grains of rice each day. He became so emaciated that he would touch his stomach and could feel his backbone. He practiced to the point that he fainted--and might have died were it not for the compassion of a young milkmaid who gave him some rice and milk.
The Buddha realized that neither luxurious living nor extreme ascetism were skillful means to awakening, and thus he designated his teaching The Middle Way.
His teachings included the First Noble Truth which states that “Life is dukkha.” One of the common translations of dukkha is “suffering.”
He implies that suffering is inevitable. Yet the Third Noble Truth says that one can become free from suffering.
I have frequently heard the phrase, “Pain is a given, but suffering is optional.” There is much wisdom in this statement, however it implies that suffering is not inevitable.
The resolution to this apparent contradiction lies in the statement: Suffering is not necessary; but it usually takes a considerable amount of suffering to realize this. And we must experience suffering in a certain way to realize that it is not necessary.
It is to suffer with present moment awareness and with no story.
A story, in this context, is a habituated narrative that is unconsciously repeated until we believe it is true. The most compelling story we have is the one that identifies me. This inner narrative creates, defends, and validates me.
This story of “Who I am” begins very early in life and for most people it changes very little throughout their life. It changes little because it is believed to be reality.
We may change the story via psychotherapy and personal growth processes. We might become more functional and experience less suffering. But any story is just a story—it is not reality.
To let go of the story of me is very difficult. Letting go of my identity I may feel like I am “a nobody.” This is painful—and scary. I may feel as if I don’t exist. I feel like I cannot function in the world, and thus I have no value.
Once I disidentify with the self that I know, I will encounter another self that has long been submerged in the unconscious. This is called the shadow. It consists of unfulfilled desires and unacknowledged pain. Ironically, I must own this repulsive self before I can release it.
I must acknowledge and embrace all the “deplorable” parts of me that I am loathe to accept. This takes courage –and patience. I cannot release my identity in one weekend. It is a slow process. There are several “Ow’s” before the “Wow.”
Remember that nothing real is ever lost; only our illusions can be lost.
Although we lose only illusions, when we are identified with these illusions it can feel as if we are losing something very real—me!
It doesn’t last forever; and what before appeared demonic has become my greatest asset. For example, owning my suppressed rage has transformed it into a sense of personal power and authority. Owning my suppressed sorrow has given me a deeper sense of compassion and greater capacity for joy.
And yet, this “new” me is still just a story. It too must go.
Eventually “I” see that life goes much better without a self, and without a story. Every moment is a new birth. Death is a part of life. Loss and gain, pleasure and pain are experienced with no grasping or resistance. Life is lived through me, and this life has no limitations.
Wow!
[i] The title of this blog is taken from No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Han
The content of this blog is original.