Of the most interesting discoveries in astronomy within recent decades is that of the black hole. The black hole is a celestial body which is so dense that nothing --including light itself--can escape its gravitational force. A black hole is like great cosmic garbage disposal—whatever goes into it never comes back!
Black holes are so massive that they tear through the fabric of space-time itself. Because of its extreme mass and gravitational attraction, many of the fundamental laws of physics do not seem to work inside a black hole.
Astronomers have determined there’s a very large black hole at the center of our Milky Way galaxy. Many astronomers believe there is a blackhole at the center of every galaxy.
I now want to shift our view from astronomy to astrospirituality (I just invented that word) A Taoist proverb says, “I am in the universe. The universe is in me.” In certain ways the structure of the human psyche parallels the structure of the universe. For example, the stars in our galaxy circle a blackhole at its center-- and so, too the personality “circles” a blackhole at its center. Let’s look at why this is so.
We begin with the premise that the psyche consists of two primary natures: one is our essential nature which is the true self; the other is the personality which is the false self. The essential nature is innate in us; the personality is a construct. The essential nature is primarily the same in all individuals; the personality varies widely from person to person.
The essential nature radiates brightly in most infants and very young children, which is one reason why we are attracted to them. The essential nature is naturally attractive, but as the personality develops, and the child is socialized, the essential nature is largely obscured. [i]
If you were raised in a perfect environment by enlightened parents, then you might have a “shining personality” that continues to exude essence. But most of us missed that karmic bus and were raised in an imperfect world by less than enlightened parents.
Your environment most likely did not provide what was needed to develop your essential nature to its fullness. You probably had unmet needs, traumatic experiences and parents who did not model essential nature in their own lives.
As a result, you developed a “hole” in your awareness of essential nature. (Aka the black hole.) This black hole is experienced as an immense deficiency. When you’re in it (or even near it) you may feel extremely deficient or defective. You may feel as if you have “a hole in your soul.”
St Augustine has written, “There is a God-shaped hole in the human heart that only God can fill.” But when you were very young the closest thing to God was your parents and family; you turned to those closest to you to fill the “God-shaped hole.” Unfortunately, you were not raised by gods— you were raised by imperfect human beings.
This black hole is terrifying to a child, so you attempted to fill this internal hole with something/someone from the outside world. You turned to the world to get what felt missing within yourself. You then developed a strategy for getting what you need from the world to avoid feeling the blackhole. This strategy then determined the primary characteristics of your personality.
Author Salman Rushdie writes, “I used to say: ‘There is a God-shaped hole in me.’ For a long time, I stressed the absence, the hole. Now I find it is the shape of the hole which has become more important.”
This is a very important statement because he points to the fact that the more specific you can be about how the hole feels, as well as how you have compensated for it, the more likely you will be able to discover what’s on the other side of it.
Determining the missing quality (e.g., love, power, intelligence, will, value) is a good start. Then it is helpful to know specifically how you defend against experiencing the black hole, what circumstances trigger an eruption of defensive reactions, and what type of defensive reaction emerges.
For example, if you are missing the quality of value then you may feel hurt or angry when you are criticized or when someone does not seem to appreciate you. You may try to always be needed as a way to feel valued. Or perhaps you like to boast about your accomplishments.
The black hole may be experienced as intense feelings of shame, unworthiness or being defective. If you can be present to these feelings, without resisting them, then eventually you will move through the black hole and reclaim the essential quality of value. You then realize that you are of infinite value simply because you exist.
Mindfulness practice, which is awareness and acceptance of each moment’s experience, is a skillful way of moving through the blackhole. It is not easy, but the journey through this darkness will eventually reveal the light of essential nature.
Some theories in cosmology suggest that a cosmic black hole may be a portal into a parallel universe. Regarding the external black hole, this remains to be seen, but it’s certainly true of the internal black hole which is the portal to a new universe within yourself!
[i] For a beautiful poetic description of this process see: Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood by William Wordsworth.