I’m going to tell you the story of Narcissus. He’s a character in the Greek myth, “Narcissus and Echo.” But first I want to talk about the nature of myth. It’s been said that a myth is something that never happened but is always true. A myth has been called the collective dream of a culture. The myth does not attempt to recount an historical event but rather it’s a story that reflects the collective consciousness of a culture or of all humanity. The ancient Greek myths were the cornerstone of Greek culture which, melded with the Roman culture, shapes the Western world to this day.
The Greek culture had a great deal of influence on the Romans, who in turn shaped and formed many fundamental aspects of our own culture today. We can see this in literature, architecture, law, politics, philosophy, theatre, and in education. To understand the ancient Greek psyche is to better understand our own. The myth of Narcissus is relevant to us today because it reflects a significant aspect of our Western psyche.
Now, the story. Narcissus was an extraordinarily beautiful young man. Women and men alike fell in love with Narcissus as soon as they laid eyes on him. But Narcissus was a loner, a hunter; he spent most of his life in the woods, alone.
But even in the woods he was not always alone. He was seen by a mountain nymph named Echo. Echo, like so many others, fell in love with Narcissus. And like so many others, Echo was spurned by Narcissus’ indifference to her. Because of her broken heart, Echo fell into a deep despair and vowed never to be seen again. She went to live among the mountains and the canyons where very few humans live. (Although Echo has never been seen you can sometimes hear her call back to you if you shout into a remote mountain Canyon.)
Aphrodite, goddess of love, took slighted love very personally and was very irritated by Narcissus’ unwillingness to return love to his admirers. In her anger Aphrodite dispatched the goddess Nemesis to put a curse on Narcissus. Nemesis inflicted him with an unquenchable thirst. Narcissus was driven to run from stream to pond in a vain attempt to quench his never-ending thirst.
As he leaned over to drink from a certain pond, he saw that the water was so clear it formed a perfect mirror. For the first time in his life Narcissus saw his own beauty. And like everyone else, he fell in love. Narcissus was so captivated by the image of his own face that he could not move. It is said that he stayed there admiring his own image for the rest of his life--- and he died on that very spot. As a reminder to all of us Aphrodite instructed a flower, the narcissus, to grow in the very place where he died.
So, let’s unpack this story in the light of its relevance today. Narcissus symbolizes the propensity of the human ego to be enamored with itself and to be insensitive to the needs of other people. We call people with these characteristics narcissistic; in extreme cases this is viewed as a psychopathology: the narcissistic disorder.
But the truth is that every ego is narcissistic. (Ego is our sense of self; it is the Latin word for “I”.) Anyone identified with the conditioned ego, is narcissistic. Ego is in love with itself and tends to use others as a way of reinforcing its self-image. The ego, like Narcissus knows itself only as a reflected image.
The greater the identification with ego the lesser the ability to have compassion for others. The ego is not self-existent; it requires constant input from something external to maintain itself. The ego lives from the outside in; it needs constant validation to know that it exists.
One such form of validation is mirroring by its environment-- particularly by other individuals. This mirroring may come from someone’s spouse or family, it may come from their social or professional status or from their possessions.
Another way the ego reinforces its own existence is through self-talk. The ego is supported by an almost nonstop telling and retelling of a story, an event from the past, or anticipation of a future event. This storytelling is generally unconscious and subliminally reinforces the pretense of self-existence.
You need not try to get rid of the ego; your mission is to dis-identify from it; to see that it is not real, and that it is not really you. Ego identification is a major barrier to experiencing true nature.
One of the practices of disidentification is the continuous recognition of times when you feel addicted to external validation or to internal self-talk. Nonjudgmental awareness of how the ego functions is the key to dissolving it.
As you recognize and dissolve the underpinnings of ego-identification then you function more directly from true nature. You will find that the ego doesn’t disappear but simply becomes more transparent and flexible. It transforms from a suit of armor into a gossamer robe. It becomes a vehicle for true nature to express rather than an obstacle to finding it.