The Heat of Midnight Tears

Listen, my friend, this road is the heart opening,
Kissing his feet, resistance broken, tears all night.

If we could reach the Lord through immersion in water,
I would have asked to be born a fish in this life.
If we could reach Him through nothing but berries and wild nuts,
Then surely the saints would have been monkeys when they came from the womb!
If we could reach him by munching lettuce and dry leaves,
Then the goats would surely go to the Holy One before us!

If the worship of stone statues could bring us all the way,
I would have adored a granite mountain years ago.

Mirabai says: The heat of midnight tears will bring you to God.

-------------------------

Mirabai was a 16th-century Hindu mystic, poet and devotee of Krishna. Her reference to Midnight Tears can mean a number of things. Typically we relate tears to grief or sadness. Midnight can be interpreted as unseen or unacknowledged grief that is out of the “daylight” of awareness. Midnight Tears can refer to unattended grief.

There is an ocean of grief awash in our world today; much of it is related to the Covid pandemic. Many people have died alone; many more have experienced the agony of not being with a loved one as they lay dying. Economic hardship, loss of a job or business, disruption of our normal life structures, as well as political unrest, racism and violence have contributed to this sea of grief. Much of the grief is unacknowledged, and much of it is hidden behind anger, hatred and aggression.

Yet, even during ordinary times human life involves the experience of grief. The pain of death, old age, illness, separation from a loved one, and economic loss, is endemic in human life. Also, addiction, domestic abuse, poverty, racism, crime, and violence plague the lives of many of us, adding yet more grief.

2500 years ago, in India, a man named Siddhartha Gautama awakened to the realization that suffering is intrinsic to human life. After many years of meditation and spiritual practice he realized that suffering can be permanently eliminated through diligent spiritual practice. From that insight he developed the Eight-fold Path as a prescription for liberation from suffering. He taught this practice in the context of a doctrine known as The Four Noble Truths.

The First Noble Truth states that suffering is inevitable in ordinary human life. It’s very important for us to note that the word suffering is translated from the Sanskrit word dukkha which has no direct English counterpart.

Dukkha refers to the ever-present dissatisfaction that human’s experience. No matter how rich, famous or powerful one has become, he will still experience a deep unrest inside that says, “Is this all there is?” We can temporarily assuage this sense of dissatisfaction, but inevitably, it returns. Nothing in this world of time, space and form can give us permanent satisfaction. Such is life as we know it.

The Buddha once asked his monks, “Which do you think is greater: the water in all of the oceans or the tears you’ve shed while wandering on*.”  His answer: your tears are greater. 

I have heard people say, “Yes, but why focus on suffering? Why not focus on the pleasure and joy in life—even if fleeting. It’s depressing to dwell only on suffering.”  

First, the Buddha is not telling us to ignore pleasure, he would simply say, “Feel pleasure, and be aware of its transitory nature.” There is nothing wrong with pleasure, but you cannot hold on to it very long. Even the most sublime experience will eventually fade away and leave us wanting more, or wanting something else.

Second, he is not telling us to ruminate or wallow in suffering. The Buddha is not advocating an “ain’t it awful” story about our suffering. He is simply saying “Be aware of dukkha when it arises in your life…..and notice how often it does. Just sit still and do nothing for an hour….and notice what you experience.  Notice how much joy arises compared to how much dissatisfaction (dukkha) you experience.

Buddha’s message is supremely optimistic; he is telling us that it is possible to overcome dukkha and experience complete satisfaction in our life at all times. But first we must fully acknowledge our experience of dukkha, face it and feel it. Denial is a primary factor in the continuation of dukkha. As with recovery from addiction, the first step is acknowledgement and understanding our part in the experience of dukkha.

The first step is acknowledgement; recognizing dukkha when it arises. The second is step is seeing the cause of dukkha: as craving, aversion, delusion. The third step is seing that dukkha can be eradicated by dissolving its cause. The fourth step is to engage the eight-fold path that dissolves craving, aversion, and delusion and thereby eradicates dukkhs. This teaching is known as The Four Noble Truths.

Mirabi says, “The heat of midnight tears will bring you to God.” The Buddha would agree; though he used very different language. As you accept the inevitability of suffering and engage it with awareness and nonresistance you are using “the heat of midnight tears” to liberate yourself from the shackles of dukkha. Then, you will “find God” everywhere you go.