The following is a dialogue between myself and my imaginary friend named “Q”.
R- I want to talk to you about Being Nobody.
Q- Why would I want to be nobody?
R- Good Question. Let me explain. First, being nobody is not the same as being “a nobody.” A “nobody.” is a pejorative label often given to someone who is supposedly of little value in the eyes of the world. This is not what I am talking about.
Second, being nobody does not mean that you don’t exist—in fact quite the opposite is true. Being nobody, you will actually exist in a much deeper and more authentic way!
Q- Okay, tell me more.
R- We are nobody at our birth. Babies are nobody—and yet most everyone loves a baby. Why? Because a baby is authentically nobody! Yet inevitably, we enter into the process of becoming “somebody.” We are taught who we are and what our place is in the world. We become identified with a sense of self that develops over the first dozen or so years of our life. This becomes “me.”
But this somebody--this me-- is a relative self. It is real only within a certain context; it is not existentially real. This virtual self is primarily a mental structure. In the mid-17th century the philosopher Rene Descartes wrote, “I think therefore I am.” This premise has been the foundation of the Western worldview for over 400 years.
Q- I think therefore I am. But, without thought—who am I?
R- A very good question!
When you go to sleep at night you become nobody—there is no self. But then a dream fires up and you have a self, you become somebody--but not the “somebody” that went to sleep a few hours ago! This “me” may be very different from the “me” that operates during the daylight hours. But eventually the dream ends and you wake up into another somebody—a me that is quite familiar.
When you are sleeping (and not dreaming) you are nobody. Then the alarm goes off and you are somebody once again! But where does that somebody come from? Where did it go when you were sleeping?
It went nowhere because it is not real. It is like asking, “Where did your lap go when you stood up?” Your lap goes nowhere because your lap is not a thing- it does not have a separate existence. “Lap” is simply a convenient term for using your legs to hold someone or something.
That is exactly what the “somebody/self” is—a convenient term to describe a certain mental construct. It is real only as long as you believe that it is. When you truly wake up it is gone, just like all the characters in a dream. When you awaken you see that you were the dreamer—and not the dream.
Q - So then who is the ultimate dreamer--the one who is dreaming me?
R- You are. The authentic you.
Q- If you are suggesting that I let go of my identity…I find that pretty scary! I won’t be able to function in the world. I will lose everything.
R – Yes it is frightening. It may feel like you are losing your life-- but quite the opposite is true; you are finding it for the first time.
Q- How do I function in the world without a sense of self?
R- Have you ever had a time when you were functioning extraordinarily well? A time when you were creative, courageous, energetic.
Q- A few—but not as many as I would like. It’s quite satisfying.
R- Indeed, and what was your sense of “somebodyness” when that occurred?
Q- (Long pause) I guess there wasn’t any. After I had each of these experiences I thought, “Now where did that come from?”
R- It came from you. When you forget your “somebody training”--even for a moment--your real self will arise.
Your real self is the deepest potential for anything and everything--and it is revealed only when you are nobody. This is who you really are. What is real can never be lost, stolen or destroyed. As you truly know this then all fear vanishes, and all suffering ceases.
A key principle in the Buddhadharma is, “Cling to nothing as self.” No self: no suffering.
One of my teachers says, “When you let go of this world you go to the place where all worlds are born”
Letting go this identity and being nobody you go to the place where you can be anybody. You can do whatever you need to do to function in any situation. You align yourself with the same power that created the universe
In the Christian gospel of John Jesus is quoted, “It is not I- but the Father within that does the work.” Jesus was implying “Don’t worship me; I’m just the delivery system.” Anything you need or need to do is latent within you-- as long you see that you are but the delivery system for Universal Love and Wisdom.
Q- Cool!
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You live in illusion and in the appearance of things. There is a reality. You are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.”
Kalu Rinpoche
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